Things have changed
12:12:00 AM - Saturday, 31 December 2011
THINGS HAVE CHANGED. Yes, things really have changed, and thank god for the better. After all life can be easily lived anyway. We have every right to make mistakes, make them right and then learn from them, and I am pretty sure I have learned a lot this time, and this learning process is not going to come easy yet, I am perfectly willing to accept whatever it takes to make those mistakes I made right again.
Since its the last day of the year, I guess I just have to conclude my year. As you have seen, for the past 5 years of blogging, 2011 has definitely been the most eventful time of myself, VERY eventful it seems like being in a roller coaster ride. I've had moments of definite sorrows and of course perfect happiness.
January 2011. I was working. Enjoying the working life. I was pretty happy.
February 2011. I was still working yet I was in the middle of processing my application for university which I pretty much think took over my whole month.
March 2011. I was still working. I have no idea what I was doing but I guess my life just revolve around my work.
April 2011. I was still working. Nothing exciting about that. University application results are being released.
May 2011. Graduation. First time I've experienced graduation in Singapore. The feel of wearing that graduation gown and the happiness of having the Merit Award finally in my hands after working my ass of for it for the past three years. Feels kind of like victory really. BUT. It was the month when I got sort of become crazy. Crazy about the university result. After being rejected by NUS, I had those two weeks of tears, crying even at work, I think I was kind of depressed really, I don't take rejection that easily, well, I mean, who does?
June 2011. And then this month came! The long awaited result of my hard work, a place in NTU in Biological Science. I was happy. Plus, I started planning for my trip. Long awaited trip.
July 2011. I came back. I went back to my home town. Things that happened should just remain there. Specially the "What happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas" sort of thing. Yet, I did enjoy my stay. I was ecstatic. No, I didn't spend my holidays doing things I can't do here in Singapore. I guess, I was not looking for that after all. What I did there? I did all the things I so wanted to do when I live there and did them with such contentment. They were nothing deep really, they were simple stuffs. Theme parks, shopping, fast food, classy food, road trips - seems normal? No, they're not for me. My childhood was deprived from those things. It's not something I would hate my parents about, I understood the limitations of how much we can spend when we were young and I accepted them, I was more concerned about the fact that if I don't I will miss one of the best foundation of life - education, I was pretty smart when I was young, so deal with it. But then, when I came back, I spend for all of those things, and it was fulfilling. I was happy.
August 2011. School started. Oh the stress.
September 2011.
October 2011.
November 2011. This is when I realised that 3 months had passed and my life was stationary yet busy. No it wasn't boring, I didn't have time to get bored. I was too busy with school works.
December 2011. The last month. Maybe one of the most eventful months of my life. Emotions bursting every single day, not all the same, yet, thankfully, I'm ending the year happy.
I guess I want to talk about more about my December. So I started the year feeling too happy I guess, I made a confession at the end of November and I thought I had everything fixed in such short time. Silly me, I was wrong, Of course I was wrong and I should have known, I was an overconfident brat and I hate myself for that. When this happened, I got into a shock. I was sad, I was angry and I was very scared, too scared because it happened to be about a lot of things. I was never scared in such a way before, so that really came as a shock, plus I never would have imagined myself being scared in such a manner. I couldn't think. That was the sad part of the month. AND then, reconciliation happened, and then I was happy. I guess I really became very happy that when I received my exam results with a D+ in it, and my automatic response would have been to start bursting into tears, it didn't come. Mind you, it took me a while to realise what's causing all these. But then, I guess, with the brains and genuine advices of a couple of girlfriends, my tiny brain finally came to it and I was not to argue.
I still come to the same conclusion, 2011 has so far the best year I had so far and I'm very happy about it. Sad to say goodbye, yet with this sort of ending, I kind of think that maybe there are better things on the way. Optimistic? well I think sometimes I do deserve to have some optimism in my system.
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Maybe I'm back
11:41:00 AM - Saturday, 1 October 2011
Blogging has not been my thing for quote awhile now. Thank goodness it's not because of the previous reasons of not having anything exciting happening in my life, but due to the fact that for once in my life I had been too busy and preoccupied and there has been too many thing happening in my life, adjusting is quite hard. I know it's just too stupid for me to complain because I have always wished for more things to happen in my life, but now it did happen, I think it's much more than I could handle.
First thing. School. School had been, so far too stressful to be getting on with. It's a whole new world thus a whole new challenge for me, and yes, academically. I could never have imagined I would struggle this much to understand a single concept, but it's proving to be beyond me. All I know now is, I need to do hardcore studying. Hardcore in such a way I have never done before. So I got my gameplan, putting it into action is not easy - at all. After 3 years in poly, studying has not been my thing anymore so now I am struggling to pull myself together and get my head in this freaking game. I'll let you know if I'm succeeding, so far, not yet.
Second. Work. I had never been this broke in my life. I need money and somehow my pre-university activities had made me spend so much I forgot to save. Well I had so much fun, and those activities did made a big impact on turning my life around. So I'm not really sure whether I should be regretting it. So now I am working and it's tiring and quite sickening. And I have to keep doing this while I'm studying, because $$$ is pretty much everything in this world. Anyone who thinks otherwise is being a freaking hypocrite.
Third. My paranoid brain and the thoughts that conquer it every day. Which involves mostly inspiration = distraction, guilt, unreasonable judgement and what I want and what I need and what I have and what I am willing to do with all these. Pretty vague? Well if it's clear, it wouldn't be a problem.
Now about my blog title. Why that? Because of all these recents events in my life, I am pretty much a bit overwhelmed with emotions, and the best way to deal with them, is shut some of them down, I did that before and it worked. Somehow, I think, something had motivated me to do so again. I don't want to, but it's the best way. So maybe, I'm back.
say whatever you want, i'm waiting... just click
This time
12:25:00 AM - Wednesday, 27 July 2011
THIS TIME. Obviously, I am again, struggling to find a title for my post, not that no words comes to my mind, but I know this time around, I have to choose every single word I type very carefully. Reason? I just have to.
So! What in the world had happened to me? I swear, I am wondering the same bloody thing! Exactly a month after my last post, and yes, It feels incredibly different typing. I would probably thank my much anticipated holiday that started on the 9th and ended on the 19th (July 2011), which probably pretty much, changed my changed life in SG. The details of this holiday might or might not be mentioned in this blog, but what can I say, is that it was FUN and it was just what I needed to have. Thanks to those 5 years of stress, rush and anxiety, I was able to appreciate this holiday, probably more than anybody ever could?
Lets enumerate some mentionable highlights:
.I seriously had fun with all my cousins, ALL of them, and its probably more fun that it was last time.
.I tried to spend on things I always long to spend on when I lived there, and I swear, it was amazingly satisfying!
.I mingled with my old friends, the way I do last time, yes, issues and intrigues and I tried to get involved with these stuffs! It was fun, specially with my way of thinking now, my ideas are pretty much so different and fun when I was 16!
.UNLITXT!
.No/Very little voice for half my stay! (DUE TO OVER-EXCITEMENT and EXCESSIVE ACTIVITIES)
.Everything that happened during those 10 days! No regrets!
Its so hard to give details, because everything just seemed to be just FUN, words can't even express them.
Isn't it weird that I'm typing with so much happiness in me, Usually when I blog, I'm filled with an amazing amount of stress or I'm pretty much grieving, which I seriously hope, won't happen anytime soon, or won't happen at all!
So, I couldn't emphasize it more, this post is definitely different from any post i have ever posted.
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Sort of an eventful one of my life
3:26:00 PM - Monday, 27 June 2011
SORT OF AN EVENTFUL TIME OF MY LIFE. I totally have so much words in my head for such a long time already. I always want to update my blog but I always
can't seem to find any free time to spare, and seriously, I have no idea why.
I know I had been purposely dragging, specially around April and May, well that's mainly because there's nothing exciting to talk about in my life AND I'm
so busy getting worried about my Uni Application. Yes, that was I was doing for two whole months. Sort of, everytime I get home, I sit, think and think and
think and then play Sorority Life, which is my favourite game in Facebook, and it seem to calm me down, so i spend tons of hours in it, that i just recently
reached Level 200.
So this dilemma and purposely over-addiction of a facebook game has come to and end on the first of June. I was in a crazy state.
After Seeing the Envelope:
.My heart seemed to have dropped 12 floors, and I was in a holy-crap-there's-an-envelope mood.
.Then I was in a finally-it's-here mood.
While opening the envelope:
.My brain was flooded with 'I'm rejected-I'm rejected-I'm rejected'
When I read the letter (I was in the mailbox area)
.I read 'Congratulations!'
.I was motionless.
.I couldn't believe it.
.I read it again. 'Congratulations!'
.Then I was like. 'Oh Sh*t!'
.Then I went back to the letter, this time reading more than the 'Congratulations!'.
.Then I cried.
.Took my phone with my shaking hands, and called Keith!
.Went to the lift (and I was still crying, and a guy went in, he must have thought I was crazy)
.Went out of the lift.
.Called Cindy, and cried somemore.
.Got in of the house, excitedly told my mum and cried somemore.(Such a super silly moment, I swear)
So why was this such a big deal that I shed too much tears for a letter. Well, I didn't expect I would react as much, but I think its me and my pride taking
over.
Two weeks before that, I received a REJECTION letter from NUS. I was so rooting for that because I have convinced myself that applying to a relevant course
gives a security to my future. I applied for a totally different course in NTU, so my chances seemed to have been slimmer honestly. The rejection totally
got in to me like a huge building dropping into my head, sounds violent but that's really how i felt. I was crying all over the place. Seriously, I think if
I got another rejection letter, I probably would have snapped. I have alot of expectations from myself and I don't think anyone could ever understand, the
lenght of the frustration and agony of a rejection. I'm crazy that way. Oh. And I sent an Appeal Letter for this.
Enough of the depressing chit-chats. Since that two weeks of agony was over and was replaced by an overly tearful joyful moment, lets go back to the other
end of craziness.
So I received the letter 1st of June. The acceptance window, opens on the 10th of June. That was another 9 days of extreme paranoia in my side. I was sort
of thinking, what if the letter was some sort of a mistake or something, see the paranoia in there. So I waited and waited and waited. And June 10 arrived,
that was after 11:59 of June 9, I was logged in and accepted the offer - talk about excited.
I had to delete my full name although a lot of people already know. I just think that the idea of having my full name displayed casually in my blog is a little, well, too public?
June 10. Feeling happy starting the week, and what do I get... a call from NUS, asking me for an interview. I was like, SERIOUSLY?! i suffered two whole
weeks of despair from a rejection and then they called. Ugh! I have no idea what to say, i was coated with annoyance, with so much thoughts in my head such
as:
.NUS is such a good school.
.It's Info Tech
.I prefer Bio Science
.But NUS is such a good school and Info Tech is a good course.
.NTU IS A GOOD SCHOOL TOO!
.AND YOU LIKE THE BLOODY COURSE IN NTU.
then I said, "No, I'm not going." And then, I panicked a bit. Okay, Alot. Nothing could have settled me in place until the NTU admission package came on
June 17. Nothing, as in Nothing, even considering when I retrieved my Matric Number and uploaded my photo in the site. So I got the package, Then life was
happy again!
So lets jump to the 24th of June.
(All unmentioned dates had probably been spent to unprofitable boredom, Sorority Life (game) and Sorority Life (forum), extensive online shopping, overly
spending on food and watching Grey's Anatomy)
The Medical Check-up. Why is this relevant? This was the time I had my first signt of Nanyang Technological University. First Impression. UP?!. Oh. and I
got lost, totally have no idea where I was and totally have no idea how to get to wherever I have to go. Well I managed to find it eventually by asking this
nice old guy. Apparently, all i had to do is tilt my head up a bit and I can see the building name. I had to wait a bit for my queue number to be called and
then I was done around 10:30 and was on my way to the rest of the day.
Ate at Stevo's for lunch. Then at 4:30. The much anticipated Full Body Massage.
The Relaxation. Okay, the massage place I went to was not as good as Java Java Spa, but it was still satisfying. I love massage. It totally makes me feel so
much better. After all those stressful stuffs going on for the past weeks, or months, it was such a good change to be lying there and getting pampered!
The Lion King Musical. So after the massage, no time to relax. We rushed to Marina Bay Sands to watch The Lion King Musical. Although, I was never much, or
probably not even the slightest bit of a singer, I know I could appreciate these kinds. (I love 'Colours of the Wind' and 'Part of Your World' so much!) Of
course, we could not have been able to get there without google maps. Eventhough with its help, we still totally struggled to find our way towards that god
forsaken place. It was torture to get there, so even though I would really wanna walk around there, I won't bother, unless I really have to or, not during
night time.
So the Lion King. It was really a nice show, but I wouldn't spend hundreds of dollars for it (like I would on anything, Or probably only on another Long
Champ Bag), so I'm thankful by boss gave me her tickets. Yes, she is so nice! and I am indeed very happy and thankful for it. I actually got kinda desperate
to see it, (Yes I managed to convince myself to that point). The Idea that there was a possibility to get the tickets without spending hundreds of dollars
got me so caught into the musical and I really hoped, so much, I could get it, and I did! and so I was able to call the Lion King, the first ever Musical I
watched! I really liked it and I think that its really worth watching, and I totally would have regretted if I missed the chance.
The costumes were wonderful! I totally want the Sarabi Costume for myself! The actors were really good. Whether its acting, singing or dancing. Sometimes, I
do envy people with so much talent! The music was great, and it was really such a nice change to be watching something new.
.Favourite Character: That would have been Timon and Pumbaa. Eventhough Timon was very entertaining, somehow, I like Pumbaa's cuteness.
.Favourite Scene: When the Hyena's were singing and dancing! I know there's so much more nicer scenes, but somehow, that Hyena's production number has its
nice effect on it. I really do have this thing for villains. (I think the stampede scene was really impressive too, and is my second favourite part)
.Favourite Song: Not much choice, but I would go for "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", its just nice as it is.
After all those happy thoughts, there's one lesson learned. I will never book a spa appointment before an event! Its such a hassle to rush after you've been
pampered. Seriously.
I got home around 12 mn, I wasn't expecting the show to finish so late. Of course I was too tired, but not showering would have totally be more torturous.
So I did, waited for my hair to dry, which took an incredible amount of time.
The next day, was woken up by my mum announcing we are going out to a kid's bday party. I agreed rather than rotting at home and spending my whole weekend
infront of the computer again, and I can eat nice free food. I've never tried New York New York's food and the idea of it being free is seriously tempting.
Since it was in a mall, I spent time wandering around when I get bored. If not, I was getting entertained by these two 4 year old girls, watching them
satisfy their boredom with a coupld of odd things. It was pretty entertaining.
The rest of the weekends is not as eventful anymore, unless you consider formatting a laptop entertaining, then that was how I spent my Sunday.
Now, I'm on my last week of work. Soon I'll be free to wake up late, waste a couple of days at home, go on a much awaited holiday in the Philippines, then
waste a couple of days again, before School finally starts again!
say whatever you want, i'm waiting... just click
Cooking day!
11:25:00 PM - Sunday, 20 February 2011
say whatever you want, i'm waiting... just click
Amnesia
10:04:00 PM - Friday, 7 January 2011
AMNESIA. oh no no no no no, i'm so not gonna talk about what amnesia means and i definitely don't have it. but if you think just the title seems so drama, leave my blog, NOW. =) it just merely pop out in my mind and i just want to discuss things about it - well coz i watched amnesia girl few days back. ok, so amnesia is forgetting your memory because of some weird things that affected your brain - i just wondered if it really is like the movies and tv shows or stories in books. almost majority of the soap operas, dramas in short, involves amnesia, usually involving couples.
so the girl/boy forgot about the boy/girl then eventually they became together again because of some magical thing going on, merely explained that the mind forgets but the heart remembers. and so i researched. well apparently the heart do remembers - with Scientific Proofs:
The following indisputable Scientific discoveries, done by Western Scientists, clearly prove that the heart:
1- Has thinking and calculating nerves.
2- Has a brain of its own.
3- Participates in leading and guiding individuals based on certain calculations, emotions and feelings.
4- Relays information back to the brain and has a 2-way communication system with the brain that enables it to take part of the thinking, processing, and decision-making.
5- Can force the brain to obey its commands.
6- Has memory and data retrieval (remembering) capability.
7- Has its own intelligence and intelligent system.
ok, before i decided to do this post, i didn't have any ideas about the above facts and i was about to question the interpretation of amnesia in movies. these facts just baffled me - like really. i think its pretty awesome. so i shall forget my initial idea of trying to argue with the statement 'heart remembers' - coz i was wrong. very wrong.
somehow i was cheered with those facts. yet, i will never wish to get amnesia. i thought i was selfish with the reason i was living with my whole life, well apparently, the reason doesn't have to involve people you love, coz, the heart can do that and from what i can conclude, heart seems impossible to get amnesia, so you'll still find your way - its well kept - very safe =), so now i can proudly reveal my only reason in my whole life why i never wanted to get amnesia - its too painful to think about the fact that i'll be able to forget algebra! :(
say whatever you want, i'm waiting... just click
Love these online shops!
11:33:00 AM - Friday, 31 December 2010
LOVE THESE ONLINE SHOPS.
just click and enjoy! =)
reviews coming later!
say whatever you want, i'm waiting... just click
